


dreams

by brightclam



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Boys In Love, Don't copy to other sites, M/M, emotions are hard as an android but you bet your ass he has them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-05-14 14:40:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19275388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brightclam/pseuds/brightclam
Summary: Geordi teaches data to paint. Julian teaches data to dream. Data is a little bit in love with both of them.[A drabble]





	dreams

**Author's Note:**

> this is kind of open ended and incomplete sorry

Geordi, from the beginning, treats Data differently from most. In fact, before meeting Geordi, Data hadn’t even realized what it felt like to be treated like a human. He knew he was treated differently than humans of course, but no one has treated him any other way, so he accepted it as normal.

Most people when they first meet him, seem to feel like they already know the most important thing about him; that he is Soong’s android, the fabled artificial life form. This is Data’s most important characteristic, but that does not mean it encompasses even the slightest part of his being.

Depending on their specialization, some of them may understand a bit more of him; engineers understand his postronics, science officers his synthetic skin, command officers know his star fleet history, usually. But learning that aspect of him from a diagram never seems to be enough for them; he’s always peppered with questions about how quickly he can compute, how the connections work, and so on.

Their diagrams could have told them that. In some ways, the diagrams would be better at telling them what they want to know than Data is. They want the facts, spit out in easy digestible chunks. They don’t want to realize that computation speed is how Data thinks, and that it is no simple fact to him. They don’t what to know what his being is like. 

But Data is a mechanically exact creature, so he spits out the stats they want to know. He doesn’t feel disappointment or hurt at being a walking experiment to them, only the waste of efficiency of repeating things they already know.

But Geordi is different, so much so that he write a new pathway in Data’s brain. The first interaction with him is so different that few others have blazed that same trail down the wires of Data’s brain.

From Geordi, there are no prying questions about how Data functions, only question about what Data does. It’s a slight distinction, but an important one. Data doesn’t have to rehash positronics again; he’s asked what his rank is, where he’ll be worked, and welcomed to the crew in a human pleasantry. 

Geordi is so much new data that his brain put it’s processing on hold, until he’s back in the stillness of his quarters. It’s only then does he realize that the entire interaction would be exactly the same as if he has been a human crew member. 

Later, when he knows Geordi better, he notes their similarities. Much of why Data receives in first meetings, goerdi does as well. Having personal boundaries ignored, invasive questions asked, as if you were an interesting new thing to be studied. 

Of course, Geordi gets asked about his blindness and his visor rather than his entire existence as a being, but Data considers it close enough to be called understanding.

The paths for Geordi in Data’s mind are the strongest—-he is the person Data spends the most time with—-but they are also the most unique. Geordi has been through more with Data than most, and the way he treats Data allows a wider range of experiences. Data decides that qualifies him as a best friend.

If Lore has not stolen his emotion chip, data thinks he would have called this love, but he cannot be sure. 

\-------

Data knows everything about color theory to know. He’s studied the brush strokes of every single master in human history. He knows the mechanics of every medium. Geordi has taken one or two art classes at best. Data learns more from him than he has from his database.

Data paints interesting things; starlight falling over a colorful glass in ten forward, the texture of spot’s fur, the special smile Deanna saves for her close friends. But when Geordi paints, he takes interesting things and draws emotions out of others with them. Data’s paintings may be technically superior, but when shown to their friends, Geordi’s make more of an impression. Data analyzes the difference between their paintings and can find nothing to explain the discrepancy. The creative spark that Data is missing is as ephemeral as most human things seem to be.

In some ways, Data enjoys his company more than the actual painting. He considers familiarity to be friendship, so he relishes the chance to learn more about Geordi. How he moves, how he thinks, how he interacts with Data. The more time he spends with Geordi, the more he’s thoroughly imprinted on Data’s positonic pathways, and the closer Data considers them.

Many humans would consider his form of friendship, cold, mechanical, more proof he is a machine that can never truly be a being in their eyes. Geordi smiles widely when told, as if what Data has said is a great confession of heartfelt affection. Data is once again struck by Geordi’s uniqueness. While their may be no feeling in Data’s estimation of friendship, that does not lessen it’s weight. He still chooses Geordi, and Geordi chooses him. That Geordi understands this only increases Data’s estimation of him.

Geordi looks back down, swirling his paintwater, and returns to his work. Data too refocuses on his painting, humming a tune he has been attempting to master. His voice still refuses to lend it’s self to singing, but Geordi doesn’t complain.

 

——-

Geordi keeps the little jewelry box with the emotion chip on a shelf in his room. Not hidden, but not obvious ethier. There as an option, but with no pressure to ever return to it. Data appreciates it more than he could ever express. At first, looking at the little box sitting there innocently in Geordi’s quarters had bothered him. Every time he saw it, it sends aftershocks of what had happened through Data’s neural net. The pathway, being reaccessed over and over again, his equivalent of a memory. And every time it’s accessed, it strengthens it’s presence in his neural net.

It’s been hard to forget what Data had done, at least for him. Everyone else seems to have moved on, even Geordi. He still flinches away and can’t look Data in the eye sometimes, but he doesn’t treat Data any different. But when Data had asked Deanna about him to make sure he was alright, she had assured him that Geordi is coming to counseling and healing from the experience at a normal rate.

Data cannot feel guilt, but he still wonders if he should not be around Geordi. Deanna has told him that she doesn’t believe that his presence will seriously harm Geordi, and that it’s Geordi’s decision whether he wants to remove Data from his personal life or not. He hasn’t, so Data shouldn’t worry but…

He wonders why he can feel like this about what happened if he doesn’t have emotions. Deanna had insisted on checking him out, claiming he may have trauma despite a lack of emotions. She has made no process in attempting to help him; it’s difficult treating a patient like him. Data doesn’t even know if he has trauma himself; who knows how it would manifest in an android?

All he knows is that he will not forget what he had done to Geordi. But he is trying to move on, and seeing that little box is beginning to hurt less. It’s becoming less a symbol of the damage Data had done and more a symbol of potential in the future. Data still doesn’t know if he’ll ever be ready for the chip, or even want it. He’s worked hard to get where he is, and he thinks it’s good enough. He may not feel emotions the way humans do, but he still experiences the important things. He feels friendship for Geordi, the bridge crew, and even the whole enterprise.

And he’s decided to call what he feels for Geordi love, now. He doesn’t know if it’s the same love humans feel, but he knows it’s what he feels. He knows that he spends more time in Geordi’s quarters than his own, he knows that spot now responds him the same as he does to Data, that he wants to spend the rest of his life at Geordi’s side.

\-------

It’s only after his first meeting with Julian Bashir that data finds that same understanding with him. It’s after the doctors augmentation has come out in officials reports that captain Picard reads precursorily and the crew whispers about in the hallway. 

An augment in starfleet, much like an Android in starfleet, causes quite a stir. Data takes his next shore leave as an opportunity to visit ds9. He wonders if Julian will be as glad to see him as he was the first time, or if Data’s fascination has worn off. It will be a good way to test the first impression of Julian; did he truly see Data as a being, or was he like all the rest?

Ds9 is dull, dim, and dirty; the polar opposite of the enterprise. But its people move about with as much life and Data finds himself enjoying his walk along the promenade. He is processing so much new information: new languages being spoken, alien species he hasn’t seen before, stores selling strange technology. But the bustle of the promenade begins to even out, the mess a spot of calm nestled in an alcove like room that’s half open to the promenade. 

Julian sits there, obviously waiting, but absorbed in a datapadd. Data ascends the steps and joins him at the table, sliding into the seat opposite from him. Julian quickly looks up and puts down the datapadd, smiling his same enthusiastic smile as before. He seems a bit more worn than before, like there’s more weight on his shoulders, but doesn’t seem to be treating Data any difffently.

“Hello Data! How goes the dreaming?”

Data smiles, the small one Geordi had helped him practice until it was no longer uncanny. 

“Quite well. I believe I had my first nightmare recently. Since I did not have an emotional reaction to it I did not recognize it as such at first, but when I described the content to counselor Troi she labeled it a nightmare.”

Julian’s eyes widen and his lips curve into a surprised “o”. He telegraphs emotions to such an extreme that Data almost wants to copy his expressions in order to learn.

“Really? That’s fascinating! Be careful or you’ll have me writing another paper on you.”

“I read the first one. It was intriguing and respectful, and for that I wanted to thank you.”

Julian fidgets with the padd, discomfort obvious.

“Yes. I’ve read some of the literature written on you and it’s...amazingly disrespectfully.”

Data shrugs, a gesture he’s trying to incorporate. From the way Julian twitches, he doesn’t quite have it down yet.

“They do not see it as disrespectful because they do not see a need to respect me. Their opinions are unimportant, but still I appreciate the care you put into you paper and writing about me.”

“Of course, Data.”

Silence falls, the doctor’s brightness dimmed by something he seems to be thinking about intently. Data, despite being warned by Deanna it might not be a good idea, decides to proceed with the topic he had planned.

“I imagine you are not unfamiliar with such treatment, doctor. I have seen the papers written about you recently and the way they speak about you.”

The darkness the doctor was keeping hidden breaks full freely, flashing in his eyes and the harsh line of his mouth.

“You mean the way they’re free to hate and dehumanize me now that I’m revealed as an augment? Yeah, I’ve seen it.”

“They find you quite interesting, having remained hidden in starfleet for so long.”

“Interesting doesn’t mean much if they also want me gone, does it?”

“No, it does not. Being something of scientific interest has never afforded me the right to decency and respect, and it appears they don’t intend to extend that to you ethier.”

Julian smiles, sarcastic and sly, very different from his usual smile.

“I guess you’re expert at dealing with this by now, huh?”

“Since I was activated.”

“Well, if it helps, hiding isn’t any better.”

“I would not expect it to be. But I hope you will happier now that you can show your real self, even if the majority dislike you.”

Julian nods, spinning his empty mug, making a gentle rattling. He watches it’s motion, obviously thinking through what he’s going to say next.

“Perhaps you don’t feel this way, It’s not a perfect comparison. But... do you ever hate Dr. Soong?”

“Hate is not an emotion I have experienced yet. However, if you are asking if I am conflicted about my father, then the answer is yes.”

Julian laughs, something bitter in the quick noise.

“Conflict is one way to put it.”

He slumps back in his chair, his body language tense, his face filled with conflicted emotions.

“Julian, you seem to be upset.”

“Yeah, you could say that.”

Data takes a page out of Deanna’s book.

“Would you like to talk about it?”

Bashir sighs, shoulders slumping.

“I just don’t understand why he’s the one who made me like this, but I’m the one who has to live with people hating me for being this way.”

“I had not thought of it that way.”

Bashir smiles sadly.

“I’m glad to give you another perspective. And I appreciate you speaking with me about this. There really isn’t anyone else who would understand.”

Data nods, pleased by the way this interaction has gone.

“Perhaps you would like to walk as we talk, Julian?”

Julian smiles and stands, and they begin to make their way down the promenade. After a long hesitation, Julian reaches out to take Data's hand. Data feels a spark of something and he smiles to himself.


End file.
